 |
| Watching the Game with Dad |
This year my youngest, Thomas started playing football. He is a big boy and we knew that it would be good for him. He pushed himself diligently through all the conditioning. He was and still is the last one running the laps. But he never complains. He is such a great kid. But when I took Daniel to the first day of training, I didn't expect one of those "sad Moments" to hit me. I thought I was past that. Watching the boys...playing and running and catching... Laughing and making friends. I looked at Daniel in his wheelchair, quietly looking above the boys on the field at the trees and the clouds.. And tears began to stream down my face. I felt alone. I felt different. I longed for a peak of what it would look like to see Daniel run and laugh. I longed to hear what his voice would sound like. And I left. The next day, Thomas said to me... Mom... don't go, you know everyone is going to stare at Daniel and you are going to feel sad again. But I went. Because it wasn't about me or Daniel...it was about Thomas. And as the time went by, the families began introducing themselves to us...and Daniel began to be a very welcome spectator. Some of the Mom's even pitched in and bought him his own "Nighthawks" training jersey.
Its a very hard thing....you see.... To be moving two normal children along a path of growth that is "normal" and progressive into their future. And at the same time have a young man with you, who is also getting older, but who has no capacity to ever be independent. Does it break your heart? Hell yes. But I tell myself every single day...shake it off... they all need you. Daniel is who...he...is. He has a unique life and you can not "what if" yourself to death.
And I succumbed to hollering and cheering for the team with the rest of the families. And Daniel continues to watch things in the sky.
Football... Thomas? Who knew? Oh man...writing this post just made me cry. Dear God please help me provide for this family.
No comments:
Post a Comment