Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Thursday, January 1, 2015
2015 Goals for my new year
- Go back to church. We have fallen away from regular church attendance and I miss it.
- My health. I am seeing a naturopath and pursuing healthier living habits. Pain relief strategies such as acupuncture and massage. Nutrition and wellness that is focused on my needs and my goal.
- Henry, It is my goal to have Henry trained as a therapy dog before the end of 2015.
- Work. I would like to be able to pursue my nursing degree, or at least start looking into a job in the health care industry. Dreams can be achieved.
- Friendships. Try to get myself out of the house more often (than never). and reconnect with the human race
- Pray more. Join a bible study.
- Exercise regularly (like I used to, but stopped)
- Be more assertive with getting things that Daniel needs, researching help and grants, etc.
- Focus on gratitude.
- Set goals, visualize them, and move towards real dreams!!!!
- Make the hard decisions that need to be made without being afraid.
I used to be a leadership development trainer, helping people with strategy and goal setting. What happened to that corporate positive lady???
A special needs mother, who has been caring for this wonderful child, tends to realize that over the years you lose yourself. Sometimes I even feel like I have become invisible to others. I have lost my identity and need to find and keep those parts of me that have slipped away. I have been shut down by a life of depression and negativity coming at me all the time. It's time for me to take back the joy that is rightfully mine.
Thank you for all of your prayers and caring hearts. So many people reached out to be friends, and helped in 2014. I want to feel happy and vibrant again. That is my 2015 goal.
Thank you for all of your prayers and caring hearts. So many people reached out to be friends, and helped in 2014. I want to feel happy and vibrant again. That is my 2015 goal.
A 2014 year in review from my perspective
Looking back on 2014. I'm sure there are things that will pop into my head later and need to be added. Definitely big big highs and big big lows. This past year has left me thinking that I dont want such a blah kind of 2015. Changes are already in progress... for the better. For me this time.
January 2014. I recall that on New Year's Eve we simply ate some snacks and went to bed, pretty much the same as this year. Sarah was home most of January, just like this year, but I think she was really bored and having a rough time of it with John. She really worked on her You Tube Channel alot. It was very cold.We took Daniel to see Frozen on New Years Day. I talk about wanting to see a new doctor for my pain, and I found one at Yale. It didn't really work out though, because it was far, and hard for me to get to those appointments. I was suffering from sinus infections, the same as now. On January 30 I posted on facebook that I was sick with 101 fever. My old Dell computer died. I know I was incredibly depressed because I continued to journal about it. We saw Saving Mr. Banks, and I sobbed like a baby in the theater with Sarah. January 2014 was not an extraordinary month by any means. Just cold. Filled with the same old stuff, Daniel's medical care. Paperwork up the Kazoo. Relationship problems and anger/depression affecting us. Didn't spend any time with friends or have any dates, or honestly, I can't say there was anything all that interesting. Working when I could for AllState but wishing so badly that I could go to nursing school. The highs and lows, and alot of trips to CVS.
February 2014. February. Thomas turned 13 on February 25, 2014. Daniel started seeing Adam Granger, at Summit Neurological Rehabilitation in Brookfield. He had his first assisted walking experience in years. This therapy was amazing for him, but not covered by his insurance. I had a grant from The Umbrella Club, and had sessions with Adam until the grant ran out. Henry continued to attend Dog Training classes and had his first grooming experience. There was snow. There was cold.
March 2014. Our old 1999 Ford Winstar died. We replaced it with a 2011 Honda CRV that was in excellent condition and had only 7000 miles on it. First new car in over 10 years. John drives it. On March 19, 2014 Sarah went to get her hair cut and got front bangs!! I dealt with a broken XBox alot, there was cold. Snow. Depression. Alot of doctors appointments and clinics.
April 2014 I think the highlight for April was meeting the Hendricks family when they visited from Ireland! Daniel, his nurse, and I met up with them at the Bronx zoo. Wendy and I have been friends on line through the Polymicrogyria support group since Daniel was 4 and Daire was born. For over 12 years. It was amazing having the chance to spend the day with her and her family at the zoo. Thomas continued to excel at playing the Baritone Sax and Trombone. Sarah was at college and pledged into her sorority. John continued to have periodic intense periods of anger which are really rough on me. Daniel had a period of illness that I thought was stomach related and we ended up at Yale with Pneumonia for a few days.
May 2014. Thomas, Jazz band competitions. He had so much fun in his first year in Jazz band at the middle school. Many doctors appointments. My neighbors across the street got a new dog, a labradoodle. Sarah finished up college for the year and came home.
June 2014 Thomas finished up school for the year and we went to Naples Florida for 10 days. That was the highlight of my year I think. The moment I touched the warm sand and saw palm trees. We had continued relationship ups and downs and our family was not exactly normally functioning.
July 2014. Thomas attended Danbury Music Center. I turned 48 years old. Started therapy in Newtown at Newtown Youth and family services. Struggling with sinus issues again, back and forth to the ear nose and throat about 6 times. Sarah made me a wall hanging that said do more of what makes you happy. It is one of my favorite things ever, because its true. I was really starting to shift away from the way the anger makes me feel, to trying to find myself again. I love summer. Daniel was invited to cut the ribbon at the opening ceremony for the new playground in Newtown. Our friend Marc Pintel was the main donor to the new playground, so we got to spend a little time together and meet his son Spencer. The playground is beautiful.
August 2014 Thomas started Marching Band Camp. Daniel finished up summer school. Sarah went back to college to begin her sophomore year after working for a few weeks here at Target. Money is tight, and when our washing machine broke, my good friend Peter Brady of the hand dandy Handyman Ministry helped us out. We received a new washing machine from Lew White Appliances, and some additional financial assistance.
September 2014. Daniel and Thomas went back to school.
We watched alot of marching band competitions.
October 2014 We had our 22 wedding anniversary. Had a quick dinner at a place in town called "The Newtown Kitchen and foundry". or something like that. My sweet friend of 22 years, my cat, Tinker, passed away at the age of 22. Lots of doctors appointments. Still feeling very depressed but wanting to see a new doctor for medicine management. We also had a wonderful time at a New York Jets Game, thanks to our friend Marc Pintel who bought us the tickets. It was so much fun for the family!! and for Marc, who made a sweatshirt and sweatpants honoring Daniel. We loved Met life stadium.
November 2014 Sarah turned 19. Daniel turned 17. John turned 48. We had Thanksgiving here at our house and it was very nice. I started playing my flute again for the first time in over 30 years! I am so proud of myself. Purchased an old open hole flute on Ebay too! Thomas's gift for music, and Sarah's too, has finally inspired me to step back into it. I think all of the therapy is finally starting to pay off. Even though the anger eruptions continue, I can't do anything about him. But I certainly don't have to spend my life feeling sad, and guilty for not meeting his expectations of me.
December 2014. In the beginning of the month Daniel had a serious bought of diarreah and it turned out to be C Diff. He was very dehydrated, and we were in patient at Yale for several days. I was just very relieved when he was better and well enough to go home. I did all of the Christmas shopping also drove to Staten Island to get Sarah. In a storm! That was not fun. Relationships continued to be tense and difficult in the house, and John hates Christmas so I did all of the shopping and prep work. I tried having as much fun with the kids as I could. The end of the year came fast.
I am sure there had to have been some profound moments through the year 2014. But sadly the dominance of "walking on eggshells" maintains its control on my life. But I have to be strong and care for the children, and this year has to be all about me getting stronger and healthier. I am tired of feeling depressed, and suppressed. I miss friends, laughing, having time to just be myself.
So that's kind of life in a nutshell. Me and my little dog, Henry. Me and Thomas talking music and driving all over Newtown. Me and Daniel bonding, and having our special times. Doctors, medicines, appointments, supplies, endless paperwork, and sleepless nights. Me and Sarah. My special special beautiful daughter, who keeps me up to speed, inspires me to make You Tube videos, amazes me with her intelligence, and is there for me always. I love my children in a million different ways. They are the highlight of my 2014 because they love me, just the way I am.
January 2014. I recall that on New Year's Eve we simply ate some snacks and went to bed, pretty much the same as this year. Sarah was home most of January, just like this year, but I think she was really bored and having a rough time of it with John. She really worked on her You Tube Channel alot. It was very cold.We took Daniel to see Frozen on New Years Day. I talk about wanting to see a new doctor for my pain, and I found one at Yale. It didn't really work out though, because it was far, and hard for me to get to those appointments. I was suffering from sinus infections, the same as now. On January 30 I posted on facebook that I was sick with 101 fever. My old Dell computer died. I know I was incredibly depressed because I continued to journal about it. We saw Saving Mr. Banks, and I sobbed like a baby in the theater with Sarah. January 2014 was not an extraordinary month by any means. Just cold. Filled with the same old stuff, Daniel's medical care. Paperwork up the Kazoo. Relationship problems and anger/depression affecting us. Didn't spend any time with friends or have any dates, or honestly, I can't say there was anything all that interesting. Working when I could for AllState but wishing so badly that I could go to nursing school. The highs and lows, and alot of trips to CVS.
 |
| The Lindsay Foundation in Texas sent Daniel a new Convaid Stroller! |
 |
| Sarah started her sophomore year living on the sorority floor. |
February 2014. February. Thomas turned 13 on February 25, 2014. Daniel started seeing Adam Granger, at Summit Neurological Rehabilitation in Brookfield. He had his first assisted walking experience in years. This therapy was amazing for him, but not covered by his insurance. I had a grant from The Umbrella Club, and had sessions with Adam until the grant ran out. Henry continued to attend Dog Training classes and had his first grooming experience. There was snow. There was cold.
 |
| Daniel began aggressive therapy to strengthen his body and legs, March 2014 |
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| John's new 2011 Honda CRV |
 |
| Sarah spending alot of time in NYC, seen here outside the Metropolitan museum of art |
 |
| Julie meets Wendy from Ireland for the first time!! April 2014 |
 |
| Easter Sunday at church, Mom and Daniel |
June 2014 Thomas finished up school for the year and we went to Naples Florida for 10 days. That was the highlight of my year I think. The moment I touched the warm sand and saw palm trees. We had continued relationship ups and downs and our family was not exactly normally functioning.
July 2014. Thomas attended Danbury Music Center. I turned 48 years old. Started therapy in Newtown at Newtown Youth and family services. Struggling with sinus issues again, back and forth to the ear nose and throat about 6 times. Sarah made me a wall hanging that said do more of what makes you happy. It is one of my favorite things ever, because its true. I was really starting to shift away from the way the anger makes me feel, to trying to find myself again. I love summer. Daniel was invited to cut the ribbon at the opening ceremony for the new playground in Newtown. Our friend Marc Pintel was the main donor to the new playground, so we got to spend a little time together and meet his son Spencer. The playground is beautiful.
 |
| Handy Dandy Handy Man tshirt and hat |
August 2014 Thomas started Marching Band Camp. Daniel finished up summer school. Sarah went back to college to begin her sophomore year after working for a few weeks here at Target. Money is tight, and when our washing machine broke, my good friend Peter Brady of the hand dandy Handyman Ministry helped us out. We received a new washing machine from Lew White Appliances, and some additional financial assistance.
 |
| Thank you Lew White Appliances in Danbury! |
September 2014. Daniel and Thomas went back to school.
 |
| Thomas amazed everyone in his first year in the marching band |
October 2014 We had our 22 wedding anniversary. Had a quick dinner at a place in town called "The Newtown Kitchen and foundry". or something like that. My sweet friend of 22 years, my cat, Tinker, passed away at the age of 22. Lots of doctors appointments. Still feeling very depressed but wanting to see a new doctor for medicine management. We also had a wonderful time at a New York Jets Game, thanks to our friend Marc Pintel who bought us the tickets. It was so much fun for the family!! and for Marc, who made a sweatshirt and sweatpants honoring Daniel. We loved Met life stadium.
 |
| Tinker Passed away at 22 years old. Oct 2014 |
December 2014. In the beginning of the month Daniel had a serious bought of diarreah and it turned out to be C Diff. He was very dehydrated, and we were in patient at Yale for several days. I was just very relieved when he was better and well enough to go home. I did all of the Christmas shopping also drove to Staten Island to get Sarah. In a storm! That was not fun. Relationships continued to be tense and difficult in the house, and John hates Christmas so I did all of the shopping and prep work. I tried having as much fun with the kids as I could. The end of the year came fast.
 |
| Daniel won Ugliest Christmas Sweater at Best Buddies |
 |
| John took Daniel skating |
I am sure there had to have been some profound moments through the year 2014. But sadly the dominance of "walking on eggshells" maintains its control on my life. But I have to be strong and care for the children, and this year has to be all about me getting stronger and healthier. I am tired of feeling depressed, and suppressed. I miss friends, laughing, having time to just be myself.
 |
| December 14 2014 the kids and I met our beautiful great niece at her first birthday party!!! |
So that's kind of life in a nutshell. Me and my little dog, Henry. Me and Thomas talking music and driving all over Newtown. Me and Daniel bonding, and having our special times. Doctors, medicines, appointments, supplies, endless paperwork, and sleepless nights. Me and Sarah. My special special beautiful daughter, who keeps me up to speed, inspires me to make You Tube videos, amazes me with her intelligence, and is there for me always. I love my children in a million different ways. They are the highlight of my 2014 because they love me, just the way I am.
 |
| our 2014 Christmas tree |
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