Today is November 30. And I feel like I am supposed to have holiday cheer. But I am not feeling it. I don't feel like it. Typically putting up the tree and "Christmasing" my house is a very exciting time for me. I dont know could it be....
That Daniel has had pneumonia...and this week vomitted and aspirated losing two days more of school. That his scoliosis has me worried because its rapidly progressing. That my list of things to do is so long that reading it makes my heart beat too fast.
Just surviving and staying in this house has been the biggest challenge this year. And yet still I have managed to hang on. And my kids are full of brains and talent... and even Daniel is showing promise on his IPAD...
But its just too much. I praise you God. I praise the holidays for the true reality of what they stand for. But I dread the exhaustion from making it "happen"... and I just want to curl up.... I am also NOT enthused about snow after last winter. It was horrid. So I'm kind of in an overwhelmed mood.
Daniel needs a follow up at CCMC, and he is seeing Neurology for seizures on Friday. Spent all day yesterday battling with insurance issues over his stomach medications. And today I just want to cry.
December 1, 2011 is tomorrow. And my spirit is deflated. I need to focus on the beauty in my life and re align my attitude. How do I do that when I am just so exhausted and frustrated.
Well..today I pulled out my flute and played... for a while until my mouth hurt so bad... and that helped me boost my heart alittle.
And take my mind for brief seconds off of the list.... Its a total nightmare.
Happy Holidays my Butt. Phew.
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