Happy Thanksgiving 2011

Sometimes it all seems so cliche.  We are so grateful... thank you for everything...  People all say it, but really we just eat a big meal and laugh alot.  But Thanksgiving for Daniel has nothing to do with a great meal.  He can't eat the way we can...his food comes in a tube through his stomach. So he sits in a house full of smells and sounds that he doesn't really partake in.  Its not easy entertaining and also making sure that his needs are met...   But he seemed to enjoy having company.  And we sang Happy Birthday to both him and his sister.  He had a pile of whip cream and a candle in it.  I gave him very very small tastes and he smiled.  He swallowed the first few and then he coughed...  and I never made it to the pudding.

We have had so much loss in our family, and trauma...  that just being together was emotionally healing.  No drama here... no family crisis...  just being.   And that was what I was thankful for.

Daniel's Birthday was November 22, and I promised him his gift from me was a healthier Mommy.  I've been eating to mask my sadness about other things in my life..  and its only detrimental to the strength I need to care for my children.    Pictures tell it all too, don't they.

Sometimes it just makes me sad...to see Daniel in his chair, off to the side...not able to eat, or run and play... he isn't listening to music, or texting friends, he just watches the world quietly.   A different world from what we all experience.

I'm glad Thanksgiving is over.  And grateful that my Mom and Dad helped me buy the food too.    But Daniel's van broke down, and I have to pay that bill too.  At least its fixed so I don't have to freak out driving to the hospital in Hartford.

Christmas is looming...and financially...its a pressure cooker...  But again, if I can just slow down and realize that simple is all we can do.  Then we will accept that.  I have to stay strong for these kids....  And I am truly blessed to have the things that I do.  Thanks to generosity of others...we have enough money now to purchase a generator.   That is just amazing.   Much love to you all....  Gonna drop a few a Thanksgiving shots into this blog post.

Keep in touch...  facebook me...  jhasselberger@snet.net     Happy "black" Friday.  The only thing black here, are the bags under my eyes.

Keep the Faith.. Julie