DANIELS COMMUNICATION APP

SO MUCH LAUGHTER

TALKING WITH DANIEL MAKES MY DAY

CREEPY GLOWING EYES

PUSH THROUGH IT MONDAY

SATURDAY ART WITH DANIEL AND A SHOWER TOUR

A NEW GADGET

GOOD NEWS AT GASTRONTEROLOGY

TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER PUPPY

A LOVELY SURPRISE BOX CAME

SPECIAL DINNER OUT

WE SAW BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

I HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN

IS YOUR NOSE WHISTLING

RANDOM FUN SHOPPING

ITS A SNOW DAY FRIDAY!!

I WON A CONTEST

WORST MOTHER EVER MOMENT

WHEEZY WHEEZY

COLD DAY RUNNING ERRANDS

WATCHING FOR INFECTION

HOSPITAL DISCHARGE AND A STORY

RSV PNEUMONIA

EMERGENCY ROOM AND BAD NEWS

I HAD A 12 POUND BABY

Daniel the composer

SATURDAY WITH SARAH

NEW PULMONARY DOCTOR FOR DANIEL

OH CRAP ITS HAPPENING AGAIN

Why I am a liberal and democrats send me mail

Wow. Suddenly... in my mail... NON STOP mail, articles, and information from the DNC and other democratic organizations. I don't even mind at all. Of all the bad that has happened, in my opinion, the one pretty interesting thing is the amount of democrats working hard to be much more a part of the process, more astute, more supportive, and it feels like people really care. I think it started with the letter I wrote during the campaign, about my son, and the disabled, wrote a letter to both parties. Only one ever returned the letter. And yes I am a registered democrat, but I have not always voted on the party line. Although my life has shown me that I am a far more liberal thinker. Because I was tossed head first from "conservative" into "what the effffff am I gonna do" and then I was basically sexually harassed at my job, and then fired because my son had disabilities that were just driving claims up way too high for my employer. And when you have to figure out alternative ways of living... just like when people with disabilities have to develop new ways of living life... all the "old rules in the box" just don't tend to apply any more.

I am a dreamer. I am altruistic to a fault. I believe that love matters and is the most powerful force in the universe. I believe that our planet is not ours to destroy. I believe that truth and justice, ethics and morality do matter. I believe that people should have a right to love who they want to love. I believe that disabled children deserve an education just like all typical children. I don't know the solution to the extensive and complex cost of health care, and I don't think its something that is going to be simple to solve... but supporting a child like my son, or worse, costs millions over a lifetime. If they take away medicaid and medicare people like my son, will suffer or even die.

I don't believe in walls. The billions they are spending to build a physical wall, should be spent on programs and job creation, and I don't think a physical wall is going to accomplish anything more that more division and more hate. Do immigrants need to come legally, yes..I believe so...but by the time our money pays for this wall, someone else will probably come along and stop funding it. I cherish the globalization of our nations, and the incredible diversity that we are so blessed to have. My first love of my life was a black guy... as we said it back in 1980, and I was punished, made fun of, and forbidden to see him. Then... I just did not understand... he was such a great guy, we got along so well... and that was all that mattered. Even teachers gave me a hard time. We were told not to see each other. We did anyways, of course, because I was always rebellious, to some degree. But I was also bullied after that and for years... I hate to see our world sliding backwards. And that's how it feels.

I pray every day that peace will prevail, and that somehow, someway the negative fear mongering, nuclear thoughts that are filling every one's minds... will be replaced with progress towards peace, not hate. More jobs won't equate to... alienating the world, and eliminating the EPA. Our children should be able to travel and study the world... work globally...without threat. That is what I pray for.

I believe that Jesus Christ is my savior. That it is up to me to have a personal relationship with Him. That it is NOT about what deeds you do, but about how He lives in you. And with you. Because if you have a true spiritual connection with Christ, He will guide you. I don't believe that the way to God is through deeds, I believe that God in our hearts will use us as his vehicle... We all have unique gifts and talents... To hardcore conservatives, who preach right and wrong because they study and interpret the bible one way, those folks probably think I am wrong. But I am just sharing my own personal experience with my Savior. I personally accepted him into my heart and my life. And that relationship is my own spiritual experience. I was baptized by immersion at Walnut Hill Community Church and my life was personally changed forever.

So... the fact that someone is actually interested in my opinion, and my experience, as an MBA Graduate corporate career woman.... tossed out from "that" world, because of a little boy who needed me... and still struggling to survive... would matter. I had a dream once, it was to keep rising the corporate ladder, make lots of money, invest lots of money, educate my kids, give them security, and retire with my husband in a place where I can sit on a beach. THAT plan is gone. Forever. But somehow... we just a bit more compassionate, a bit more aware of pain, of suffering, of life without a voice, life without eating food, life without ever walking... life... with cancer, more children funerals than adults. Not having enough cash to get groceries sometimes, but creatively keeping heads up. Walking through my rich town, knowing that I have a fundraiser, and not feeling ashamed.

Did I go crazy somewhere along the way? The disabled, the struggling, the people in pain, people dying, watching loved ones die, depressed, sick lonely.... poor. Everyone has a story. Everyone matters. Whether they are gay or straight, black or white, Christian or Muslim or Jewish or Atheist.... we are all humanity. Somewhere... along the way, the corporate world said "fuck you" to me. And I couldn't fight back, because I was too busy being a special needs Mom. And I feared for my family, because I worked SO HARD to get to that income level... and then it was gone. But... we are fighters. Liberal thinkers, try new things, embrace technology, kind of thinkers. That's not so bad. And the journey.... it continues.

Embrace who you are. (all this from mail from the democrats.. lol)

Julie Hasselberger

February 13, 2017

DEPRESSION TRAPS ME SOMETIMES

SURPRISE VISIT AND WATER PLAY FUN

SURPRISE VISIT AND WATER PLAY FUN

EARLY DISMISSAL, ITS SNOWING!!

JULIES TALKS MAKEUP

LOST MY VLOGGING CAMERA

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT SEE IN THE WORLD

SATURDAY BLOOD DRAWN HANGING OUT

ANOTHER SICK NURSE

OH NO! NURSE CAN'T COME

A PINE SCENTED FLUFFY DOG

DANIEL LOVES WATCHING BROTHER PERFORM!

SICK HOUSE WARM DAY

SNOW STORM AND PINK FLAMINGO PLANNER!

THUMBPRINT MAGIC FUN

FIRST DAY OF 2017 HAPPY NEW YEAR

THE FIRST DAY OF 2017 HAPPY NEW YEAR

BUH BYE 2016 NEW YEARS EVE

GIANT BUBBLE FAIL

New Year 2017... thoughts

January 2, 2017

Here I sit looking at a new year.  I'm 50.  My kids are 21, 19, and 15 (almost 16).  Daniel will be in public school until 21. Just thinking about him mostly.  And what things I can do to help him.  But I also have to make considerable progress, on me.  ME.  Can you believe I am saying that.   My Mom had a heart attack on Christmas this year.  We all need to realize that our health choices have consequences (when we are in control of them of course).   I suffer from Post Traumatic stress, and intense anxiety and depression.  And of course, Fibromyalgia.

I worry almost constantly about money.  About paying bills.  About my children's future.  About Daniel.  Life is really hard, as a caregiver.  You are responsible for the lives of others, making it really hard to care about yourself.  Which is really weird for me, considering I am self admittedly a once very very self centered ego focused person.  Middle child syndrome?  Maybe.  I enjoyed being fashion forward and into looks.  And health.  And then I had a child with massive disabilities and felt selfish caring one iota about my own needs.  Because his life depends on me.  Plus, I got really sick.  deal with massive pain every day.

New Year.  Well.  More time to spend on meditating.  On encouraging others.  On writing. On learning how to be healthier WHILE having fibromyalgia, because it doesn't ever go away. More time for romance with my husband.  Yes.  Massive issues with money, stress, medical care, all exist and are growing.  But we have to train our brains to deal with those things, BUT not put them in front of the things that make us happier and healthier.  Ironically, the happier and healthier we are, the better we do with managing our financial lives.   The inherent problem with caring for a severely disabled and medically fragile person, is this...  at any given second... WHAM... another $10,000 expense hits.  and a hospital trip. And seizures come back.  Or spasticity goes out of control.

Statistically, caring for a disabled person in your home, will cost quadruple, if not more...the cost of raising a typical child through their college years.   Probably more...because of home accessibility, transportation, and the time you have to give up that you could have been working.

The Love... is like an open bank that pours like a never ending river.   But in our society, people like my son, are a cost.  A bill.  Something people turn away from and try to ignore if it doesn't affect them personally.   But Daniel is a human being who deserves a good life.  And a normal, hard working educated family like ours, is crippled from the expense.  Imagine a single Mom who is 18 and has a disabled baby.   I try to advocate and be a source of support as much as possible.

New Year?  Yeah right.  OK.  My 2017 will be a continuation and growth of my YouTube channel "Julie Hasselberger"    The journey of me.  Of my life as a Mother who is 50.  And has a severely disabled son with a rare brain deformity...  love, life, and laughter.  Always reaching out to encourage others to join our journey.   More time for Yoga.  Losing weight...  yes... I really have to try.  And most of all, even with not sleeping nights, and suffering from massive anxiety about finances, I have to continue to dig deep and find positive ways to keep my heart strong, and not sink into that deep dark depression that, because of my history, always lingers right there on the surface.

My life, in 2016, was NON stop caring.  We had no break.  No vacation.  Saw no beach.  Felt very little "relaxing".   But we did see one daughter go off to Ireland to study for 4 months, and encouraged one son to continue his incredible passion and talent with music, via a jazz instructor who is amazing.   Renovated a Mold infested bathroom...  only to find out the cost was triple the estimate and landed us with another big loan on top of all of our other loans.  And now, the bath is leaking again.  More holes to repair.  But that is just home ownership.

Daniel's big van... needs new tires, and we just can't afford the $1500 charge for annual maintenance on the lift.   We would LOVE a new minivan with a manual style lift...  but they are expensive.  Of course.   Our other car has 198,000 miles on it!!!     We teeter.  and we survive.  And work hard.  really hard.  REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hard.  

Because life is about family.  And taking care of family.  And giving of our hearts to those that matter most, in the moment.  In the minute.   While we are here.

And I suppose that is what 2017 will be more of.  While we wait nervously to see if Daniel's benefits that have helped us so much, will be taken away.  

We love.  We care.  We want to make a difference in this life time.  And making a difference means being brave and stepping out of comfort zones, trying new things.  Even with crippling health (mine) and exhaustion and financial stress that is completely unrelenting when you can only rely on one salary.

One day at a time.  Making the most out of smiles and realizing that life is so freaking fragile.  When we die, money will no longer matter.  Ironically, lack of ....  puts many people into their graves.

Daniel is a teacher.  He has a message for this world.  And I am his voice.  Through the vlog, we share that voice.  We have fun too.

Happy New Year.  Please spread kindness.   We are all here together.

Julie Hasselberger
January 2 2017

MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT CAME LATE IN THE MAIL!!

HAPPY DANIEL HAD A GREAT CHRISTMAS

CHRISTMAS DAY 2016 MERRY CHRISTMAS

CHRISTMAS EVE 2016

2 DAYS BEFORE XMAS

JOB INTERVIEW IN NEW YORK CITY

A VERY HAPPY CAT

EXCITED HENRY REUNITED WITH SARAH

DECORATING THE CHRISTMAS TREE WITH DANIEL

PRETTY SNOW

WAY TOO COLD

TIRED VLOG long day

PHYSICAL THERAPY AND HOLIDAY BANDS

"We Remember them", Sandy Hook

A COMPUTER INSIDE YOUR BELLY

BUSY STRESSFUL DAY!!!!

BUSY STRESSFUL DAY!!!!

ELBOW PAIN, REALLY

SNOWY MONDAY

BREAKFAST WITH SANTA FOR WISH FAMILIES

DON'T FALL JOHN!!!

IN THE CRYING CHAIR WITH JOHN

SANTA WAS A NASTY BULLY??

I AM LIGHTING UP THE CHIME TREE

A BIG BUCK!!

THANK YOU SHOUT OUTS WITH DANIEL

I LOVE NICE PEOPLE

TAKE CARE OF YOUR SOUL FRIENDS

SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT

SUPERMOON PERSPECTIVE

METLIFE STADIUM WITH DANIEL

JOKE IS ON ME! THEY GOT ME!!

THE BUS EQUALS BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT EACH DAY

SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!

IT IS EASY TO GET LOST HARDER TO KEEP TRYING

DANIEL HAS MANY MOODS

LOVE GIFTS AND GETTING CHEERFUL

SUPPORTING MY KID'S TALENTS

NO NURSE NO PROBLEM WEDNESDAY

NO NURSE NO PROBLEM WEDNESDAY

KEEP PUSHING KEEP FIGHTING

sometimes I just get tired.   Its too hard.  Too much.  So much pressure.  So much expense. So little money. So tired. So little sleep.  I worry that I am just going to die suddenly and things will be a mess and I will just be worn out to survive.  So I keep pushing.  Keep fighting.  This is my life.  Taking care of this family.  Making sure they are all OK...   Keeping those smiles coming..  brains engaged.   I lost myself years ago, and have sort of, kinda found myself again.    Taking care of another person full time is a lot for the soul to bare, but love can move mountains.   And I just want to make a difference in a joyful way.    



All I really wanted was to have a house, a family, a simple life.  But it would be a dream from heaven if I could go to Ireland to see Sarah for 4 days ( she wants me to) and even though I got my passport, I just have so many expenses.  John's hospital bill was $1100 for example.  And our deductibles are $5000.  It just keeps going up and up.    Social security gives me pennies for Daniel, way less than I ever thought he would get.  So that doesnt' help.   Trying to figure it out.  Juggle juggle... no fun, no relaxing, no vacation, just always caring and giving.      Sometimes, a person can start to feel really lonely this way.    Who do I talk to ?   My you tube channel and my therapist, and my sister.  



Because I never want John to worry.  He's a good man.  Working hard, tirelessly.  too.   The financial end is the hard part.  Because if you have to care for a special needs person, you can't work full time, their care is a full time job.  But then you can't work.     You get to a point where it seems like its all getting set and coming together... and then it all falls completely apart and you have start over,  



I would love to sell and move out of the north that is terrorizing my health and Daniel's.  But I literally stuck right now.     Trying.  Pushing.  Maybe someday I will open my mailbox and a miracle will happen.  I am working on the good karma vibes.   But BOY does the anxiety attack you like a swarm of bees every time you check your bank account.     Freaking sucks.  Then you have to find the positive mood again.   My entire life has been a financial upheaval....  what makes now any different.



I guess I'm just getting older.   And I have to push even harder and harder and harder.... to maybe someday have some time to relax, and enjoy the sunshine.   Do you think it will ever be easier?   Anyhow.  I have lots of love, and people around who care....no matter how rich we are.  or poor.

Daniel is the love of my life, and he deserves a good quality of life.   So yes, the career had to go, and this is the life...  the way it is supposed to be.    I just have to get better.  And keep trying.  And keep pushing.     Thank God my husband loves me.



Please subscribe.   I'm trying.  I really am.  I mean really really really trying.

PANCAKES AND POLITICS

I CAN DO THIS, I CAN

DANIEL IN THE RECLINER WITH HENRY

DANIEL AND I, ON A DATE

SPINE DOCTOR VISIT

THATS HOT

WINTER IS COMING

BREAKFAST DATE and ART FUN WITH DANIEL

AMAZING MAIL, OH MY GOSH!!

Saturday October 1, 2016



Hi everyone.  Welcome to the world of vlogging and blogging.   If you would like to send us mail...



our address is Julie Hasselberger  PO BOX 3611 Newtown CT  06470

Thank you and please subscribe to our youtube channel too.



Have a awesome day.  Even though I am struggling with very severe fibromyalgia pain, trying to make ends meet and need so much help financially even to cover medical needs, and more than ALITTLE busy with tons of issues with medical care, therapy needs, educational stuff...    and my entire family management..  I try to keep my heart strong.  



This world, our society, does very little to help people in my shoes.  I had to walk away from a full time professional career and have dedicated my life to caring for this young man.  But It is a punishing decision financially, and that's just not fair.



Have fun.  Find JOY in the journey