Why I am a liberal and democrats send me mail

Wow. Suddenly... in my mail... NON STOP mail, articles, and information from the DNC and other democratic organizations. I don't even mind at all. Of all the bad that has happened, in my opinion, the one pretty interesting thing is the amount of democrats working hard to be much more a part of the process, more astute, more supportive, and it feels like people really care. I think it started with the letter I wrote during the campaign, about my son, and the disabled, wrote a letter to both parties. Only one ever returned the letter. And yes I am a registered democrat, but I have not always voted on the party line. Although my life has shown me that I am a far more liberal thinker. Because I was tossed head first from "conservative" into "what the effffff am I gonna do" and then I was basically sexually harassed at my job, and then fired because my son had disabilities that were just driving claims up way too high for my employer. And when you have to figure out alternative ways of living... just like when people with disabilities have to develop new ways of living life... all the "old rules in the box" just don't tend to apply any more.

I am a dreamer. I am altruistic to a fault. I believe that love matters and is the most powerful force in the universe. I believe that our planet is not ours to destroy. I believe that truth and justice, ethics and morality do matter. I believe that people should have a right to love who they want to love. I believe that disabled children deserve an education just like all typical children. I don't know the solution to the extensive and complex cost of health care, and I don't think its something that is going to be simple to solve... but supporting a child like my son, or worse, costs millions over a lifetime. If they take away medicaid and medicare people like my son, will suffer or even die.

I don't believe in walls. The billions they are spending to build a physical wall, should be spent on programs and job creation, and I don't think a physical wall is going to accomplish anything more that more division and more hate. Do immigrants need to come legally, yes..I believe so...but by the time our money pays for this wall, someone else will probably come along and stop funding it. I cherish the globalization of our nations, and the incredible diversity that we are so blessed to have. My first love of my life was a black guy... as we said it back in 1980, and I was punished, made fun of, and forbidden to see him. Then... I just did not understand... he was such a great guy, we got along so well... and that was all that mattered. Even teachers gave me a hard time. We were told not to see each other. We did anyways, of course, because I was always rebellious, to some degree. But I was also bullied after that and for years... I hate to see our world sliding backwards. And that's how it feels.

I pray every day that peace will prevail, and that somehow, someway the negative fear mongering, nuclear thoughts that are filling every one's minds... will be replaced with progress towards peace, not hate. More jobs won't equate to... alienating the world, and eliminating the EPA. Our children should be able to travel and study the world... work globally...without threat. That is what I pray for.

I believe that Jesus Christ is my savior. That it is up to me to have a personal relationship with Him. That it is NOT about what deeds you do, but about how He lives in you. And with you. Because if you have a true spiritual connection with Christ, He will guide you. I don't believe that the way to God is through deeds, I believe that God in our hearts will use us as his vehicle... We all have unique gifts and talents... To hardcore conservatives, who preach right and wrong because they study and interpret the bible one way, those folks probably think I am wrong. But I am just sharing my own personal experience with my Savior. I personally accepted him into my heart and my life. And that relationship is my own spiritual experience. I was baptized by immersion at Walnut Hill Community Church and my life was personally changed forever.

So... the fact that someone is actually interested in my opinion, and my experience, as an MBA Graduate corporate career woman.... tossed out from "that" world, because of a little boy who needed me... and still struggling to survive... would matter. I had a dream once, it was to keep rising the corporate ladder, make lots of money, invest lots of money, educate my kids, give them security, and retire with my husband in a place where I can sit on a beach. THAT plan is gone. Forever. But somehow... we just a bit more compassionate, a bit more aware of pain, of suffering, of life without a voice, life without eating food, life without ever walking... life... with cancer, more children funerals than adults. Not having enough cash to get groceries sometimes, but creatively keeping heads up. Walking through my rich town, knowing that I have a fundraiser, and not feeling ashamed.

Did I go crazy somewhere along the way? The disabled, the struggling, the people in pain, people dying, watching loved ones die, depressed, sick lonely.... poor. Everyone has a story. Everyone matters. Whether they are gay or straight, black or white, Christian or Muslim or Jewish or Atheist.... we are all humanity. Somewhere... along the way, the corporate world said "fuck you" to me. And I couldn't fight back, because I was too busy being a special needs Mom. And I feared for my family, because I worked SO HARD to get to that income level... and then it was gone. But... we are fighters. Liberal thinkers, try new things, embrace technology, kind of thinkers. That's not so bad. And the journey.... it continues.

Embrace who you are. (all this from mail from the democrats.. lol)

Julie Hasselberger

February 13, 2017

On living in Sandy Hook, a reflection of thought

On living in Sandy Hook, a reflection of thought

It's cold. The sun is gently shining and reflecting off some chunks of snow still left on the tree limb outside the window where I'm sitting.  I have just pulled myself away from facebook.  There are link after links of touching videos, articles, stories, and pictures of the lives so violently taken from our little town.  Our collective focus is reaching out once again to unite us in thought and bring us together so that mentally we don't have to face our fears and grief by ourselves.  There was a giant crack in the universe on December 14, 2012.   Evil came in through the crack, smashing in the glass and destroying love.   Little people, and loving adults taken in merely minutes and seconds.  Leaving behind a feeling of hopeless helplessness. as we just pushed ourselves though day after day.  The winter ended, the Spring came, the sun brought a beautiful spring and summer and hopelessness had transcended into helping hopefulness as the true human spirit emerged and our community embraced the concept of honoring those lost by being kind, choosing love, and paying it forward.

That is Mac the Monkey, he came to visit

We, my husband and three children,  live but a few miles from Sandy Hook School, where two of my children attended for their elementary years.  We live less than a mile from the home of the young man who went crazy with evil intent and drove to that school never to come out alive.  We see the balloons on street signs, sadly blowing back and forth in the wind reminding us of a special child's birthday.  We drive by the homes of the heart broken families every single day, multiple times, and always think of them.  Always. Every time.  We attend church together, we pray together.  Siblings go to school together.  We go to the Big Y and see one of the Mom's doing her shopping get stopped by a friend, and given a hug.  And we keep going about our daily business.  But sometimes you find yourself reminded, and it is as if we are tied to this place by both our grief and our love for each other.

Our children have been altered forever as they cross the the next channel to the other side of their new grade, new class, new friends, and on to college.  It can be really hard to explain the sick knotted lump we feel each time we drive through the center of  Sandy Hook, because sometimes it just has no descriptive definition using words.  It just is.

Living here, as we have since 1994, has been a blessing.  Two of our three children have had a life enriched with community, great educators, music, theatre,  spiritual love, sports, security, and great friends.  So many happy child hood memories.  And now, their elementary school has become somewhat of an American Horror Story location.  Sucking away those memories and replacing them with visual images of brutality and bullets.  We try to return to the happy memories, but as humans, doing that still breaks our hearts.  They walked those halls, went to those classes, knew that school as their comforting home for all of those days of their childhood.

Living here we try to grab hold of that life line which is hope.  We encourage each other with warmth and kindness.  We turn away respectively and give people their privacy to grieve and to experience what they need to experience as human beings.  We know each and every name of the 26 lives lost that day, and we will never forget those names for the rest of our lives.

For me, living here has been a road of ups and downs.  Prior to 12/14 our neighbor tragically lost their son on 11/8/08,  and grief was already living on Bennetts Bridge Road.  Prior to that, about 28 years ago, my direct neighbor Betty lost her sweet 3 year old daughter Bridget, struck and killed by a car on Bennetts Bridge Road.  Grief already lives here. And as a very active member of the Special Needs community and support groups, I can not even tell you how many children we have had to say goodbye to who have the same condition as Daniel, or who are sick with other conditions.

Living here,  there is life with Daniel.  The one of my two children who never attended Sandy Hook School because he was too medically fragile to be mainstreamed.  Daniel always came with me though, and many families remember me always trying to get Daniel's wheelchair into a classroom where an event was taking place.  Daniel was always so happy to be there.  Sarah and Thomas were always the kid "with the brother in the wheelchair".

In my home, especially in the winter time, I feel a great urge to let melancholy and depression just sink in like a cold avalanche of snow.  And yet, I too grab onto the life line.  Daniel is now 16 years old.  Our life is far from normal. I'm under tremendous pressure every day.  I worry about seizures and respiratory arrest especially when he is at school and I am not there.  Daniel is a magical child, who has captured the hearts of so many Newtown children and adults.



And it spread to the entire world when we had a card shower for him, and he received almost 900 birthday cards, and gifts.   Yes, I wrote 900.

Daniel does not have the same emotional connection to 12/14 that so many other children do.  He doesn't have the cognitive understanding of what happened that day.  He probably remembers how sick he was last December 14th, but really he is just as simple as knowing what makes him happy, and what fascinates him.  Perhaps I underestimate him.  But I like to believe that he is a protected spirit bringing love and light into our world.  He doesn't have to feel many of the complicated emotions and fears that the rest of us do, and that is not a bad thing really.

Growing up in Newtown, CT

Living here in Sandy Hook, CT, tucked away in our house on Bennetts Bridge Road, we are doing what everyone else is doing. Continuing to proceed.  However, we have new priorities in our hearts, or stronger focus in our minds, of being kind to others.  It is critical in the human spirit to stay happy by helping others, by paying it forward.  I believe that God, and the spirit of God, works through us, through our relationship with the living God, to spread His love and good works.  Opening your heart to let kindness in, allows that space and light for God to fill you with his love.   And we can do this, while we grieve.  We can continue on.
Living here in Sandy Hook, CT can feel like an anomoly at times.  Ironically a mix of very different people on very different paths.   Some people are extremely wealthy and still maintaining a life that is self focused, but others have changed and are realizing that their very neighbors may need help.  The stories of kindness on Facebook, are amazing.  People are starting to pay attention to helping their neighbors.  To slowing down and really "seeing" who we live with.


As a Mom, living here, in this house, struggling to stay on top of the needs of a very fragile son, I often wish that there was more I could do for others.  I can hardly pay my mortgage, and Christmas is a time of stress and anxiety.  But 900 birthday cards???   Obviously my son, without even trying, has brought something special to so many people.   I can share his love, I can let people know how much the Special Needs community needs help.  Many families are very proud, but they are struggling.  And if people could just realize the magic, and life changing force that a child like Daniel and so many others have, they would be touched and changed forever.

We are here.  In this house.  With this boy. Who is non verbal. In a wheelchair.  And very fragile. He is finally doing well in a December (the past two have been in the hospital) So if that is the Christmas gift this year, we will take it. It's cold. We can't go out with him. His van doesn't drive well in snow and he can't tolerate the cold temperature.  What can I do?  Just think about the little drummer boy, and it will come to you.

What is it like to live here in Sandy Hook, CT?  Its beautiful.  Simply beautiful.  Evil will never win here.  Love wins.  We really do choose love.  I hope you will too, where ever you live.

Julie Hasselberger

12/12/13

Giving. Please watch this beautiful 3 minute video. ทรูมูฟ เอช " การให้ คือการสื่อสารที่ดีที่สุด " TrueMove H : Giving