December 16, 2012
I'm not sure quite what to write today. I'm suffering from a broken heart and my soul aches because 20 children and 6 adults were gunned down in cold blood in our sweet little Sandy Hook School.
Here's part of my story, as I know I have been trying to blog Daniel's journey to recovery.
Daniel came home from the hospital on Monday, December 10. It was great to have him home but I tell you it has not been easy. His pain and discomfort have been almost hard to manage. He has had a fever now since Tuesday. Anyhow, somehow through sheer exhaustion I got through the week of sleepless nights to Friday morning December 14, 2012. Daniel was scheduled to go by ambulance to Yale New Haven Hospital to have the stitches from his spinal fusion removed. Those stitches run from the base of his neck all the way down to the top of his butt.
I had nurse Marques here early Friday morning, and after Thomas and Sarah went off to school I told Marques that Amy was coming to do therapy at 10:30 and that I would go and get alittle bit of sleep.
I hadn't been sleeping long when my phone started ringing, texting, and emailing all at the same time. The house phone was ringing. My text message was from Sarah.. MOM WAKE UP MOM WAKE UP TURN ON THE TV MOM
Then I heard the reverse 911 call. I ran downstairs to find Marques and Amy glued to the TV with looks of shock on their faces. And the three of us watched, as it all unfolded, the responders at the site, the parents getting their kids, the announcement that 26 people died in the school. Shocked, sick, and crying I pulled myself together and got Daniel on the ambulance.
We went to New Haven, and since Daniel had fever and congestion they ran a series of tests, (results still pending) so our appointment was longer than anticipated. The two ambulance drivers, also parents of young children, Marques and myself were all glued like zombies to our iphones, announcing new news as it came out.
By the time we got back to Sandy Hook in the ambulance it was dark. And the world knew of this horrible demonic act of violence. An sense of being eery, nervous, frightened and sad all at the same time. The shooter lived on Yogananda Street which is just two streets up from us. But also near us are the homes of at least 4 of the children killed. We didn't know the names of the families until Saturday, but we knew anyway. Each home had a state trooper parked in front. And that was the heartwrenching reality check... "oh my God no, Oh my God no" I kept saying it over and over and over to myself.
It was even difficult for me to concentrate on my Daniel who was, still is, suffering.. and we don't understand why. My sleepless nights continued.
And for today, Sunday December 16 I think you all know the story. Its been on the news non stop. Our little town is PACKED with press, and gawkers, and who knows who else. And tonight, the president is going to be speaking at a meeting for the families of Sandy Hook School children.
I'm blessed to have Dave (nurse) here this weekend because my sleep deprived brain, and traumatized heart and taking away my ability to focus. And then... suddenly, out of the blue Daniel starts vomitting, and coughing, and crying. And its like a slap on my face.
My weak special needs child needs me to be with him. Its really alot to bear. I keep wishing and wanting to go out, to be with people, to light a candle, to pray, to go to church, but I am here because Daniel needs me always nearby. So I sit alone, and I'm not an alone person. Hug my children. And watch tv.
So if you watch TV, you have seen lots of images of our town. And in that town on Bennetts Bridge Road is a house with a state trooper in the driveway. And our house, with a boy pale and weak recovering from a massive back surgery.
And I don't know what else to write. It's simply incredible and horrific.
Please... please pray for us.
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