It is Sunday evening, the 30th of December. While so many people still have their holiday decorations lit up and plans with family and friends, we are just managing life between here in Sandy Hook and where Daniel is at Yale in New Haven.
This morning he was wretching pretty badly again. And after just having learned that his pancreas enzyme numbers were trending back upwarrd, it was honestly pretty heart wrenching. Daniel has been in that room since Monday afternoon December 17, 2012. And after 2 weeks, his illness still has not resolved.
In the meantime, John has had to go back to work. And Sarah and Thomas have lives that must carry on. As I sit day to day in the hospital the days all blend into one, while at home people are helping shuttle my kids around and meals are being delivered.
I recently just learned that a friend of mine, who hired me to work in his AllState office in Monroe, CT passed away suddenly from a heart attack on December 26. Leaving his two little girls behind. So sad.
It's a world of hurt out there. And I don't know about alot of other people, but I still can't seem to lift the fog off of my brain. It just hasnt been holly jolly time at all.
This morning at the hospital I met a family whose little baby was born with a severely deformed face. The little tyke had these adorable cheeks, blue eyes and red hair. So many surgeries, and the results were amazing. So sweet that baby.
I can't even wrap my head around all of the emotions that I am having as a mother right now. Especially a mother here in this town where we are raising our kids. But like I said I feel like its a fog. A fog I can't get out of. And I have no time to try because my energy is spent on trying to find out how to get Daniel better.
A random act of kindness came upon me yesterday. As I sat in my room, watching the snow heavily fall outside, I knew not a soul would be coming to visit us. Suddenly a bag with a shiny balloon was delivered from the giftshop. In that bag were magazines, cookies, fuzzy slippers, a GET WELL Teddy bear, crossword puzzles, etc. A wonderful friend, who knows how it feels to spend extended stays in the hospital had it sent to Daniels room. I am so touched... I just want to do the same for someone else.
I had wanted to do the same for you my friend Jon Haydostian, but Heaven had other plans for you. Rest in Peace.
.jpg)
I'm sad and disorganized in my thoughts tonight. Probably the Sandy Hook syndrome. I just feel like the sun needs to come out and dry up all the pain.
This hospital stay is a killer on my family. In everyway possible...but I am home for my two nights of resting and sleeping before heading back to the hospital again.
So with that said, as I lay here resting without the sounds of beeps and pumps and nurses coming in and out, I will lay my head to rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment