I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...and Spinal Fusion

November 27, 2012

There are snowflakes falling at 7:55am.  I must say its quite peaceful here.  Everyone is at school and work...and I'm home alone resting.  Because, I have a kidney infection that is excruciating. The pain started yesterday and I went right to the doctor due to the fact that my health is of great value around here and there is no time for sickness.  A typical UTI turned bad due to a badly diagnosed antibiotic.  Hopefully this heals up now...but I'm miserable.  Have so much to do...  but perhaps its a way for God to tell me...slow down Julie. Slow down and be calm. Look at the snow. Pray.  Focus. Blog. 

Thanksgiving/Daniel's birthday was November 22, and it was a very nice day. We had a quiet holiday, and I bought Daniel 15 Balloons to celebrate.  It was very colorful for him.  Then on the 24th 30 ish teenagers came over to celebrate Sarah's 17th birthday.  We turned the basement into a winter wonderland...it looked pretty and she had a great time.  I've always wished that I could rent out a hall for her to have a real party with a DJ and all of the special things that so many other kids have around here.  But I hope she knows that we do the very best that we can.

Last week...  Oh man.  The nurses and I spent two full days taking Daniel to pre-op appointments. Pulmonary, bo-tox for saliva, x rays, blood work, Surgeon consultation, anesthesia, physical therapy, etc etc.

Everything is looking pretty optimistic, but we have one more test tomorrow on his heart.  The curve of his spine has progressively worsened.  This totally needs to be done.

This is Daniel's Spinal x ray. The curve of the spine is over 90 degrees

There is a long list of things to be done before this surgery....  and I'm working on it. John is planning the care of the kids schedule at home.  I am working with the doctors on the post op recovery planning.  Where in the heck am I going to put a hospital bed? Looks like it will be next to my Christmas tree this year....   Special wheelchairs, nursing visits, nursing care, medicine, pain relief, physical therapy, a new wheelchair...  etc. etc. etc. etc.

Due to the crazy kidney infection I am losing this entire week of work.  And I wonder just how I can possibly pull off Christmas.  It will be small.  Small and quiet I am sure.

So today is Tuesday, and there are 6 days until surgery.  Tuesday... and I need to rest and recover.  And focus on those words that fly at me repeatedly, "Julie you have to take better care of yourself"

Duh.  You all don't think I know that?  Perhaps if other things around here shifted onto the shoulders of the people who are free to come and go when they please, then I could focus on my health.  Right now, I am 100% Daniel, Sarah, Thomas, house, cars, finances, and bills....  Phone calls to make, appointments to schedule, folllow ups, equipment, medicine, laundry, the animals, ....  and when someone's brain is so over taxed its a challenge to go to the gym.  I could just let things go, but then while I'm "taking care of myself" I will just obsess about the things that are not being done.

So for now...  as it snows and looks Christmasy and peaceful. I will pray for God's help.  For faith and complete restoration of mind and of body here.  Pray that somehow financial needs will be met over this month of December and that all will fall in line.  Pray that Daniel will remain healthy. Pray for people who are angry to find peace and forgiveness.  Pray for kindness and charity and love to spread like an epidemic everywhere.    There. I feel better.

Wondering, will there possibly be an early dismissal from school today....hmmmm  and I need to  call and schedule Sarah's audition for MaryMount Manhattan college..... and.... and.... and.....