The Easter Card

 

The Easter Card. 

Yesterday I received a card in the mail from my Dad.  It was an Easter Card.  Cheerful and hopeful, as is the essence of this time of year.  When I opened the card, I was walking out in my yard with the dogs.  As I slowly turned the cover of the card, reading the poem, I felt this surge of emotion that actually made me feel shaky, and my lip quivered.  And I began to sob.  Deep guttural sobbing.  Missing my Mom.  Longing for her voice, her presence, her love.   The card was signed, Love Dad.  Love, Dad.  It was profound to see that my Dad carried on my Mom's love of Easter and Spring.   She always did nice things for others.  I guess he wants to keep the love blooming. 

Losing my mother has been life changing, all the way down to my soul, and where ever my deepest self resides, I miss her.   I know her energy and her spirit is living on, in the light and love that she was. 

Grief is a strange companion.  One minute you are sobbing and heart broken.  The next you are seeing the little miracles that continue on and on.  The childlike spirit that I have always nurtured within me, was a trait I inherited from my Mom's inner child and her love for, well her love for love.  

Spring is here.  In all of its beauty and rebirth, and while it reminds me of her and brings sadness, it also reminds me of her and brings joy and gratitude for all of the beauty in nature and in humanity. 

I have a lifetime of Easter memories, because she made it happen.  She loved the bunnies, the decorations, the flowers, the treats, and most of all, she knew the true meaning of the resurrection of Jesus.  She blended it all together like an Easter bunny Jesus is my savior smoothie.   Cheerful. Bright. And so many bunny statues. 

I have no plans for Easter except to honor my Mom and sit in fond recollection of a life time of her love for Spring.  

That Easter card, meant everything.  Despite the sobbing mess that I was for a while yesterday. 

I had a great Mom. I have a great Dad.  They are both here with me.  Forever and always. 

Julie Hasselberger 

April 13, 2022

Nutribullet for Easter, sick Mommy, and come on Spring hurry

Daniel Opens up his Easter Basket!!  March 31, 2014

April 3, 2013  Wednesday.  8:26am

Mommy is sick today.  Writing from the warmth of my many blankets and pillows I am suffering through a terrible chest cold today.  Fever, chills, fatigue, aches and cough.  Stress allows the bugs to find their way in and I find myself sick alot.

John just bought a "nutribullet" which is a way to make nutritious shakes.  Although green and pukish looking they actually really help you get all of your vitamins through natural foods.  Time will tell.

Wow its hard when I am down for the count because my services are needed here 100% of the time and taking time off is never an option.  So here, on a day when I could be working, studying, cleaning, etc I am snuggled in my bed.  Going to fall asleep at some point, and I know this for sure because the eyes in my head are repeatedly trying to close on me while my fingers type away.

Daniel.   Daniel had his eyes checked on Monday, and his eyes are great.  One eye does have a floater...meaning one eyeball goes in the opposite direction of the other.  But overall he got a clean bill of health on the eyes.

On Tuesday, we saw the Gastroenterologist from Connecticut Children's hospital.  We are going to be ordering a modified barrium swallow study for Daniel to be followed with a visit to the swallow team, and a new aggressive oral motor therapy program.  This is to first, help Daniel control secretions, and second see how well he is swallowing.   Eating again is not out of the question...and its something that we are revisiting NOW that his posture is so much straighter.

I think it would be cool for him to be able to taste food again.  The things people take for granted... like eating.

The sun is bright.  It is a Springtime sun.  And even if the air is cool, pretty soon it will be warmer and things will be blooming.  Blooming in some rebirth and renewal.  It was a dark and sad winter here in Sandy Hook.  But we have hope and promise.

HOPE and PROMISE for a brighter day.    I have this new bath and body works fragrance called "Beautiful Day" and when you use it, it is magic, it makes you have a beautiful day.

So the sick Mommy here is going to rest.  After some prayers.  Prayers that Daniels needs will be fulfilled, that we will be able to make ends meet and keep things afloat, prayers that enough financial help will come through that Sarah will be able to go off to college without stress.  Lots of prayers.  Lots of thoughts.

And once again... I am falling asleep here at the wheel.   Pain in my chest and back.  Being sick stinks.....

Happy April 2013.