Random thoughts Starbucks inspired on a Friday night...

As I sit here, on September 7th...its Friday..  and across the street Thomas is playing football.  And across the table from me Sarah is doing her psychology homework drinking an iced tea...  and across town Daniel  is in his room with Marques (nurse) relaxing after a very long day.

Across my mind go a myriad of thoughts...every day.  Will I be able to survive the next storm?  What is emotional abuse anyways, and maybe my perceptions are skewed, although my inner me tells me...nope...you are screwed.   And what about all of the financial issues, making survival happen while taking care of Daniel.  Will I get what I need to send Sarah to college?  Why in the world does my face hurt under my eyes when I touch it?  So much pain...  so much ache...  fibromyalgia? or just insanity.  Nope, definitely fibromyalgia. Face? Probably chronic sinusitis.

Its all catching up with me...and once someone told me that I could not sustain my pace forever.  Well, I am going to die trying.

Raising Daniel has been a joy beyond words, trickled and sprinkled with bits of this and that.

Across town, Daniel is probably lying in his bed...with his body shaped like a letter C...or maybe an S because his spinal curve is getting worse. And worse. And worse.  And how fair is that for him?  He is the sweetest, most innocent guy ever..and he endures the worst of the worst.  But maybe it doesn't affect him when Daddy yells at Thomas and Sarah...because he doesn't get yelled at.  He is exempt...  because he is helpless.

Daniel has redirected my life, and that is not to say that I understand or even know which direction I am going in.  I am being steered into a foggy abyss...without a clue as to what each day is going to bring next.

Sitting here with Sarah in Starbucks, while Thomas practices football, while Sarah does her work, while Daniel is probably watching a movie at home...  just sitting here thinking how good this coffee is.  And how much I really don't want to be home right now.

So now I feel like going into my pictures....  lets see what I can find...and I'll post them here... in my randomness of thought...   Yes...I seriously feel like a mother gone insane.  I hope you enjoy the pictures...

It is a tough role that I face...that we face. Day by day...minute by minute...