How Many Days Until Christmas???

Oh please.  I am not in the mood to see the holiday lights up.  If I see one more Christmas commercial on TV I am going to scream.  Its been a rocky road this year making it to December...and the last pressure I need is the societal pressure to spend spend spend...   I look at Daniel...and he can't request a single darn thing. He can't write a list for Santa Clause.  He really just loves the lights on the tree...the cheerfulness of the colors.  Its quite simple really...  he feels the cold air, smells the pine, watches the lights, and still asks for nothing but to be himself.    I wonder why our world has become so ridiculously consumed with spending so money on piles of gifts...  as a kid...  for me anyhow, it wasnt like that.  We lived in an apartment, had an artificial tree, and what we got for gifts...was simple...what my parents could afford.  Now the mall is a panick attack place for me.  And I am trying to avoid the push push push.   I have no fancy parties to go to.  Maybe some cookie exchanges or Angel swaps...  but as cliche as it sounds...  the holiday is about our savior.  Not the destruction of our financial stability.   Really... do people actually buy eachother mercedes benz cars for Christmas???    Really?

I have mountains of work to do for Daniel this week.  Mountains. A visit to the pulmonary group as a follow up after his pneumonia. Therapy...so much driving...  his lift needs a repair now that we got the crazy engine noise fixed.  Battles with insurance over all of his stomach meds.  So much.  So I wish the holiday demons would just go away...  its silly that they push selling cars, then they push getting a capital one credit card, then push buying every toy and appliance out there.

How about some nice warm socks.  Thats not to say a camera, IPAD, new laptop, or flat screen TV would not be nice...  but isnt this kind of a recession??

I have a medically fragile child..and all of those things mean nothing to him...in terms of his own personal want.

We could all learn a lesson from that.   I just pray that I find my holiday cheer this year.  Right now I don't even feel like decorating.  And that is NOT me at all.   I'm more concerned that the pneumonia could come back and when the surgery will happen on his spine...   Thats my reality.  Stupid TV commercials.

Kids who have received Dream Come True CT wishes...we had our dolphin swim and disney trip in 2010... this is the annual breakfast with Santa.  This years is coming up this weekend on December 4...I can't wait.  Its a blessing to meet these VERY special families...

I guess I should start reading more.     Signing off...cheerfully...  Julie

It's December 21, 2010 and I am so confused. Pulmonary says the oral motor work with food is very dangerous...but GI won't order the barrium swallow study with out 6 sessions of Speech and Language therapy by CCMC's feeding team. Ug. I have decided to send Daniel to school today rather than haul him the hour and a half to Hartford.

Its so hard right now.... these panick attacks and the overwhelming anxiety of trying to get everything taken care of... money is so tight and Christmas is in three days. I cried this morning..but I know somehow there will be a way for me to work in the future.

But for today I have to finish writing out these Christmas Cards and making phone calls to the doctors. There are seriously about 9 big issues with Daniel that I am juggling...not including school.

World...do you know how hard it is to raise a special needs fragile boy? Oh my...I love him so much....but I miss being able to work and make more money. Its a terrible mental struggle I swallow every single day. Help. I wish somehow the pressure could be relieved...just a bit.

Happy Holidays??? Must remember Christ and keep praying.........