When Daniel turned 17 years old.....

On November 22, 2014 my son Daniel turned 17 years old.  Unlike most kids, having a birthday for Daniel has always been a challenge for me.  He doesn't eat via mouth, so food is not logical.  Gifts? Well we can get him things he needs, but he isn't really cognizant of what he needs.  We sing to him, he likes that.  We give him balloons, he loves balloons.  It's not typical.

Daniel is not able to speak.  But we know he loves to watch and look at everything.  The mall, in our case, the Danbury Mall in Danbury CT is his favorite spot to just take in the sensations, sights, sounds, smells, etc.  He goes into this really happy state when we take him into the mall.

So on his birthday my husband John, son Thomas, Daniel and I walked around in the mall.  We ran some errands, had some food, but the main purpose was for Daniel to enjoy being at the mall.

Last year, when he turned 16, he received over 800 cards from all over the world as a part of a "card shower" that we had started.  It then turned into gifts, and visits from many people who just wanted him to know that they loved him.  It was honestly, one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced, the opening of the mailbox daily to see piles of cards and pictures.  Wonderful.  This year we didn't do a card shower, I really just have been so incredibly busy and overwhelmed.

And Daniel received two cards, one from his grandparents, and one from his Best Buddy, Ryan Williams, who we have recently become friends with through the best Buddies program at Newtown High school.  Ryan also brought Daniel a Newtown Marching Band and Guard sweatshirt so he could wear it when he goes to watch Thomas.  That was really sweet, Ryan and his Mom visited for a while, and it was a nice visit.  He's a great kid.

Special needs children like Daniel, do not have the ability to ask for anything,  They can't make a list, and stress out your financial capabilities.  Daniel is sweet, and quiet.  He asks for absolutely nothing but finds joy in being with people.  Sometimes, he doesn't react and it seems as if he is just staring off into space looking at the ceiling.  Well, he probably is, but he is most definitely aware of the fact that people are with him.

And there is the mother guilt.  "I didn't do enough for him", "I should have done more for him"!!!

After all, the fact that he has been alive and with us for 17 years far outweighs the odds they set for him when he was a baby.  He is a miracle.  He is a great teacher of many many lessons.  He receives love so willingly and looks at you with eyes that are deep and probing and gentle.

My life is completely dedicated to Daniel.  Yes... don't get that wrong... Yes I am dedicated to my entire family, however, they have abilities and independence.  Daniel however, needs someone to be his everything.  To arrange everything.  To monitor, everything.  To manage everything.  That's me.  Julie Hasselberger.  I am Daniel's Mom.

Did I do enough for his birthday by surrounding him with balloons and taking him to the mall?  I don't know.  I don't know what "enough" is for Daniel.  I just know that I love him so very much.
So what, it was quiet.  We heard from Glen Schallman, with a lovely "Happy Birthday" song, and from the teachers and kids at school, who also said Happy birthday in a video.  His best buddy visited.  And on face book probably a hundred Happy Birthday Daniel wishes, but he can't read, so I have to read them to him.

He is 17 years old.  For me...  its incredible and I want to shout it out loud to the world.  But it seems as though over time, as special needs children get older, the world just isn't listening anymore.  The world has grown weary of helping, hearing, caring, being there.

THAT is why Daniel has me.  I will never stop being his completely devoted Mommy.  Everything else takes a back seat.  He matters the most.  And my role of Mommy to Daniel, AND Sarah, AND Thomas, continues to remain the focus of my life.  I wouldn't choose anything else.

Special needs children rarely have friends.  When they have a birthday, it seems as though each year people care less and less.  It was so quiet on November 22, 2014.  But, Daniel turned 17.  And he smiled alot.  He knows we love him.

Life is just that way.

Watch this video from our you tube channel, "Julie Hasselberger"  Daniel...goes to the bone doctor, every day is a new adventure.